The next day, it was time for me to log in again, and I did.
Me: “Ah… you are so early….”
Reimi: “I have been waiting for you…”
Me: “I was lazy… so I slept in a little longer.”
Reimi: “I see.”
Me: “So… What now?”
Reimi: “Hmm… I want to talk to you… in private, come to my room.”
Me: “Eh?” and I followed her.
Her room is filled with girly stuff, as I expected.
Reimi: “Hmm? What are you looking at?”
Reimi: “Oh okay… You don’t seem surprised about how I decorated my room…”
Me: “Yeah, I wasn’t surprised at all. I kind of expected this.”
Reimi: “So… The reason why I called you in here… I thought about this since we met again… I was afraid because you just lost someone you love….”
Me: “Can you be more direct?”
Reimi: “I thought about this all night… I wish… to replace the one you loved… I want to fix you…”
Me: “You mean… you want to date me?”
Reimi nodded with a serious look on her face.
Me: “I told you, I don’t want to date for the time being…”
Reimi: “When will you be available again? I guess never, you are a guy who never forget about… someone who hurt you deeply…”
Me: “If I can never get over it, then whatever. I don’t mind being alone, being alone is always better than trying, because the outcome will always ended up me being the losing side.”
Reimi: “With me, you will never be the losing side, I’m willing to dedicate into this long distance relationship, so I would never break up with you.”
Me: “Psh, who knows, girls are unpredictable nowadays.”
Reimi: “Believe me… I know myself.”
Me: “But I can’t trust you.”
Reimi: “Why? The amount of time we spent together is still isn’t enough?”
Me: “I can’t bring myself to trust anyone else.”
Me: “I’m sorry. Looks like I have to separate from you for awhile…” and I left the room.
I quickly logged out and laid on my bed, arm over my forehead, looking at the ceiling.
I didn’t play the game for a few days. I spent my time, trying to accept reality. I spent my time out cycling, mades new friends and hung out with them.
While I hung out with them, certain moments made me remember about Harumi and Reimi. I tried to forget but the delete button is hard to press…
It was fun, and I didn’t go online for over 3 months. I thought I got over both of the girls… but… things just never change.
I received a text from my other online friends, Reimi is in trouble of some sort. The message made me twitch, I had never went online for months… I thought I could get over my toxic hobby…. but the past will always come back and haunt me.
I decided to log in. I felt like a newbie again, completely forgotten the controls.
I searched for Reimi, and eventually found her in an empty lobby by herself. I walked up to her.
She looked up, with a rather dead look on her face. Then I sat down beside her.
Me: “It’s been awhile… I feel like a noob again.”
Reimi: “What are you doing here? I thought you wanted to keep a distance away from me.”
Me: “I heard that something happened to you… What’s wrong?”
Reimi: “I… tried to kill myself…”
Reimi: “One of my school mates stopped me in time…”
Me: “Why? Why would you do that?”
Reimi: “I… I don’t know…”
Me: “Is it because of me?”
Me: “So it is my fault…”
Reimi: “Don’t blame yourself, I brought myself into this…”
Me: “If I didn’t reject you harshly back then…”
Reimi: “You have every right to reject me, I was impatient… I was insensitive.”
Me: “Let’s be friends… for now… If I can slowly get over it… I’m willing to give it a try…”
Reimi: “It’s fine… My mental state is no longer normal, you shouldn’t be interacting with me.”
Me: “It’s my responsibility now, I will help you.”
Me: “Let’s go!” and I pulled her hand.
We played games with our online friends for the whole day, and eventually, she regained her smile.
Me: “Ah you can smile again…”
Reimi: “All thanks to you… I guess…”
Me: “We really did our best to cheer you up, and it worked out.”
Reimi: “Okay, it’s time for me to log out…”
Me: “Okay. See you tomorrow?”
She then logged out. I stayed around to talk to her friends, about her well-being and stuff… I ended up blaming myself more…
The next day, I couldn’t really look at her in the eye, from the stories I heard yesterday, I felt immense guilt.
But still I managed to push on and made her day a better one. Hanging out with her with a heart meaning to compensate her.